Gary Hardesty

Precious friend, January 1, 2021, would have been your 69th birthday. I sure do miss you. The last couple of years have been pretty crazy. In 2019, I lost my right breast to stage 1 cancer. The experience this time has been much more unpleasant than the one in 2012.

Then in 2020, COVID-19 struck and has been like nothing I would have expected in my lifetime. Rachel, Skyla, and I had it in November. It's been a stressful experience and the quarantining and social distancing has just added to that. I wish you had been here. We could have passed the time with so many interesting conversations.

Happy belated birthday in heaven, sweet Gary. Until we meet again.

Love,

Mary xoxoxo

Sweet friend,

Today I was discussing friendships with Skyla and you came to mind. I was telling her that some friendships are short and some last a long time. I mentioned that your’s and mine lasted 37 years.

We were driving and I stifled the tears. I wish you had not left so soon. You would probably have shared Thanksgiving with us. Maybe Christmas. I was always glad to spend time with you.

I miss you so much.

Mary

Dear Friend,

Today would be your 66th birthday. You would probably be at mine or Rachel's house. I would treat you to a steak dinner and then we would just hang out and talk.

It seems odd that cancer struck you, me, and Patrick at about the same time. I remember you commenting when you realized that you were losing your battle, how I had ended up being stage 0, Patrick was in remission, and my cousin's biopsy had been negative and that everyone else was making it and you weren't. It sure seemed that way, but turns out everyone else didn't make it. Patrick lost his cancer battle on June 22, 2017, this past year, at the age of 57. My cousin is still being monitored and is okay, but her brother is dying of esophageal cancer. He will be 66 in February if he lives that long.

So save places for us. We will be there to join you in God's time. I miss you always.

Love,

Mary

Happy birthday, sweet friend. Wish you were here. We would have a nice dinner and then sit in the backyard reminiscing old times and having a glass of wine. Love you and miss you always. Mary.

I met Gary in 1976 when I was attending TJC and working there as a custodian on the graveyard shift. Gary was also a custodian. He had a beard and long, black hair that he kept in a braided pony tail. I left to begin my career and Gary stayed, moving on to becoming a maintenance engineer at the school. But we remained friends for the rest of our lives. Gary was a college dropout, but by choice, not necessity. He had a very sharp mind and was knowledgeable and articulate about many subjects, especially history and science. He would probably attribute this in part to his Catholic education and his appetite for reading. Gary was the best bowler I have ever seen and probably could have been a pro. He was also an excellent golfer and played the guitar in a band and for his personal enjoyment. Gary loved the national parks and introduced me and Rachel to the magnificent beauty of Yosemite in 1996 when we met in San Francisco and drove there to hike and see waterfalls. We had a wonderful time. Gary was so familiar with the park, it was like having our own personal guide. Later in the 90’s we traveled together to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park and in 2001 we hiked the waterfalls of North Carolina and Tennessee. Gary did not father children of his own, but he was like a father to my daughter, Rachel. Gary was at the hospital with my Mom, Dad, and my cousin, Pat, when Rachel was born. When she was diagnosed with a brain tumor in 1994, Gary was there for her first craniotomy, her second in 1995, and her third in 1997. He was there for her high school graduation in 2001 and in Texas for her college graduation. In between these occasions, we shared many holidays, birthdays, and vacations together. We celebrated Gary’s 50th birthday at my home in Sugar Hill, GA, on January 1, 2012. The holiday exception was that Gary reserved Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day for his parents and, after his Dad died, for his Mom. Gary was a very special son. He helped his parents with things around the house as they grew older. But, more importantly, he spent wonderful times with them traveling around the country admiring the beauty of our national parks into their golden years. It has now been 12 days since I talked to Gary on the phone. That is the longest time in probably years that I’ve went without talking to Gary. Sometimes our conversations were short, “You doin’ okay?�, “Got any rain lately?� variety. And sometimes they were long discussions about things like the state of the (nosy) government, the latest family dilemma, or “Is there life after death?� I believe there is life after death. I believe that that life is the REAL life and this is just some sort of ethereal birth canal that we all pass through. I believe that Gary, his parents, my parents, and many other loved ones are on the other side now, the peaceful, beautiful side, the new earth with the heavenly hosts. And someday we will all look upon the face of God and be united forever. Gary, I miss you more than words can say. You were a true friend, a person of the utmost integrity, a beautiful soul. I know you are free now and in a state of bliss that is unknowable to those still bound to our earthy bodies. Thank you for always being there, for always being honest, and for your constant love. Mary

Gary, you were a precious friend and a light in my life for over 37 years. Your spirit lives now free from pain and care. Those of us still bound to our mortal bodies will continue to grieve and miss you terribly. Love always, Mary